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- Ann M. Martin
Ten Good and Bad Things About My Life (So Far)
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For Sarah and Cooper McGrath
Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Pearl’s Summer Vacation – Outline
Staycation Sites
Also by Ann M. Martin
Copyright
1
“Lexie?” I said on the first day of fifth grade. “Are you nervous about school?”
It was 6:10 a.m., and I was in the hall outside my big sister’s bedroom, leaning backward against her door, talking largely to the air. Lexie used to hang a NO PEARL sign on the door to keep me out, but these days I was welcome in her room as long as I was (a) fully clothed, since Lexie still didn’t approve of underwear visits, and (b) prepared to start a meaningful conversation. Like, I couldn’t interrupt her homework or her violin practice to say, “If Bitey died and then came back to life as a human, do you think he would ask me to marry him?” (Bitey is our cat.) Or, “Have you kissed your new boyfriend yet?” Actually, I thought the kissing question could start a very meaningful conversation, but Lexie never seemed to want to discuss either her boyfriend or kissing with me.
There was no answer from within Lexie’s room. In fact, there was no sound at all in our apartment. That was probably because it was 6:10 a.m. Everyone was still asleep. Everyone except me, Pearl Littlefield. I was nervous about starting fifth grade. And I was curious to find out whether Lexie was nervous about starting high school.
“Lexie?” I said again. “Lexie?”
I heard a thump from my parents’ room and decided to lower my voice.
“Lexie?” I said in a loud whisper.
“Pearl, WHAT?” replied my sister suddenly, yanking her door open. I fell into her room and landed on my bottom. “What are you doing? It isn’t even six fifteen yet.”
I got to my feet. “Are you nervous about school?”
Lexie clapped her hand to her forehead and flung herself on her bed. “You’re asking me this now?”
Well, duh. It was the first day of school. When was I supposed to ask? “I need to know,” I told her.
Lexie rolled her eyes. Or at least I think she did. She’d already closed her lids, but I could see that her eyeballs were rolling around underneath. “I guess so,” she replied finally. “Everyone is nervous on the first day of school, Pearl.”
“No, not everyone. I don’t think JBThree is nervous.”
JBIII is my new best friend. His complete name is James Brubaker the Third, but I shortened it to JBIII, which when you say it out loud it’s JBThree.
“So maybe you should talk to JBThree,” said Lexie, “and let me go back to sleep.”
Her alarm rang then and she made a face at me, but frankly, it wasn’t as mean a face as she would have made a few months ago. She turned off the alarm, patted me on the shoulder as she headed for the bathroom, and said, “You’ll be fine, Pearl.”
* * *
An hour and a half later I called good-bye to Mom and rode to the lobby of our apartment building with my father and Lexie and Lexie’s cell phone. There’s no cell-phone reception on elevators, but my sister had gotten a head start on her phone call by already speed-dialing her best friend Valerie’s number. Now her thumb was poised over the Send button, prepared to press it the very second she stepped out of the elevator, so as not to waste a moment contacting Valerie about important high school business. But she didn’t have to do that. When the elevator doors opened there were Valerie and also the two Emmas sitting on the couch in the lobby across from John, my favorite doorman. They were wearing a lot of black eyeliner and staring at their cell phones and not talking. But when they saw Lexie they jumped up, and the four of them started squealing and hugging like they hadn’t just been together the afternoon before.
“Bye, Dad! Bye, Pearl!” called Lexie, and she and her grown-up high school friends rushed out the door and onto Twelfth Street.
When you’re fourteen you don’t need an adult to take you to school, even if you live in New York City. When you’re ten you do. Also, just so you know, when you’re fourteen you get to have a cell phone and your own personal computer. When you’re ten, you don’t. (Well, I don’t.)
Dad and I walked past John, who gave me a high five and said, “Break a leg, Pearl,” which is a nice thing to say, not a mean one, except you’re supposed to say it to actors not students, but whatever.
We stepped outside and I looked across Twelfth Street, and there was JBIII coming out of his building with his mother who wanted to take a first-day-of-school picture. JBIII posed for one half of one second, and then joined Dad and me for the walk to Emily Dickinson Elementary.
“Remember the first day of school last year?” I said to my father. “You walked Justine and me to Emily Dickinson. This year you’re walking JBThree and me.”
“Things certainly do change,” replied Dad, and I thought he looked a little sad. That was because there had been a lot of changes in our lives besides who I walked to school with.
We turned the corner onto Sixth Avenue and passed by all the familiar places in our neighborhood: New World, which is a coffee shop, and Steve-Dan’s, which is my all-time favorite store because it sells art supplies, and Cuppa Joe, which is a new coffee shop, and Universal, which is a dry cleaner, and the Daily Grind, which is another new coffee shop. Over the summer Lexie and her friends started going to the Daily Grind to order Mocha Moxies, which they say are coffee drinks but which really look like giant milk shakes. Whenever Lexie starts talking about how she’s grown-up enough to drink coffee what I want to say back to her is, “Mom and Dad don’t squirt a tower of whipped cream on top of their coffee,” but one thing I have learned lately is when not to say something.
When Dad and JBIII and I passed Monk’s, which is a gift store, I could feel JBIII’s eyes on me. Well, not actually on me, which would be gross, but suddenly I could tell he was looking at me and I knew why. We were now one half of a block away from Emily Dickinson, and JBIII and I had decided that no matter what anyone thought, we were simply too old to be walked right up to the door of our school by a parent.
“Dad,” I said, “JBThree and I are ten years old now.” (JBIII was actually a lot closer to eleven, while I was just barely ten.)
“Yes, you are,” agreed Dad.
“And we think that—” JBIII frowned fiercely at me and I tried to remember the exact speech he had made me memorize the day before. “I mean,” I said, backing up, “and we feel strongly that we should be allowed”—JBIII poked my arm—“that, um, we’re responsible enough to walk the rest of the way to school by ourselves. Every day.”
“You can stand here and watch us,” said JBIII. And then he added quickly, “Sir.”
“Well…,” said my father.
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Dad has let me do this 2x before, but now JBIII and I were asking to do it regularly, and my father has a teensy problem with change, whether it’s good or bad.
“Please?” I said, and now JBIII glared at me. He had also warned me not to whine. “Please, Father?” I said calmly.
“I suppose so.”
“Yes!” I exclaimed.
“Thank you, sir,” said JBIII.
“But remember—I’ll be watching you.”
“I know,” I said. “Don’t kiss me,” I added, and JBIII and I ran down the block. Just before we reached Emily Dickinson I waved backward over my shoulder to Dad.
JBIII and I wound our way through the halls of Emily Dickinson. We passed by the first-grade room that Justine Lebarro had been in the year before, and then we passed our old fourth-grade room. There was Mr. Potter, our teacher from last year, talking to his new students.
We kept on walking until we came to room 5A. I peeked through the doorway, then stepped back and flattened myself against the wall like a spy. “She’s in there,” I whispered to JBIII. “Ms. Brody.”
Our teacher was new to Emily Dickinson. All we knew about her was her name.
JBIII peeked in, too. “She looks all right,” he whispered to me.
The truth was that she looked very, very young, like if you switched her pants and her shirt for a white dress and a veil she could be a bride. I kept that thought to myself, though, because I could just hear Lexie clucking her tongue and saying to me, “A person can get married at any age, Pearl.” But still in my head all brides were young.
“Afraid to go in?” said a voice from behind JBIII and me, and we both jumped.
I turned around to see Jill DiNunzio, who is a person I could live without.
“No,” I said, doing an eye roll.
“So what are you waiting for?” she asked.
“Well, not you. Come on, JBThree.”
JBIII and I marched into our new classroom, leaving Jill behind.
Fifth grade had officially begun.
* * *
Ms. Brody let us sit wherever we wanted, at least to begin with. So JBIII and I chose seats together in the last row. I had always wanted to have a best friend to sit with on the first day of school. And it was a relief not to wind up sitting directly in front of the teacher’s desk like I did in Mr. Potter’s room so he could keep an eye on me.
I watched Jill look around and take a seat by the window. I expected her to save seats for Rachel and Katie, but before I knew what had happened, Ms. Brody had closed the door to our room and said, “Welcome, fifth graders.”
I raised my eyebrows. All the seats were taken.
Jill-Rachel-Katie had been split up. I almost jumped out of my chair and cried, “Yes!” but adults don’t usually like that sort of thing and I wanted to make a good impression on Ms. Brody so she wouldn’t be too mad the first time I left my homework papers under my bed or ran out of steam on a vocab assignment. (I am not a big fan of vocab.)
Ms. Brody began to talk about the things we would be studying in fifth grade, so I turned my attention to Jill and how she probably wouldn’t be able to wield any power in our classroom all by herself. By the look of things, she didn’t have any close friends at all in room 5A. And I had JBIII.
I could tell it was going to be a good year.
Next I thought about Lexie being in high school. I wondered what she and Valerie and the Emmas were doing right at that exact second. Then I thought about Bitey for a while, and then my parents, and finally I heard the word “homework.”
Homework? Really? On the very first day of school? This seemed unfair.
“I want you to write an essay about your summer vacation,” Ms. Brody was saying. “Please outline what you’re going to write about, and then write from the outline.”
Hmm. I thought that over. How would Ms. Brody know whether we had written an outline? I could probably skip that step.
“And please hand in both the outline and your essay tomorrow,” Ms. Brody finished up.
I glanced at JBIII, all prepared to make a face about the awfulness of fifth grade, but he was taking notes on practically every word Ms. Brody said, since one thing he always does is every single assignment.
* * *
When school finally ended and JBIII and I were walking home ten steps ahead of my father (I didn’t want to be rude, but really, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t walked the route to and from Emily Dickinson about 900x in my life), JBIII said to me, “Our essays are going to be pretty long, Pearl.”
“I guess.” I didn’t want to think about homework just then.
“Let’s go to your apartment and start them right now. We have a lot to write about.”
I wanted JBIII to come over, but I did not want to start my homework. “Let’s draw,” I said to him, thinking longingly of my art supplies.
“Nope,” said JBIII, but not in a mean way. “I want to do a good job on our first assignment for Ms. Brody.”
“All right,” I said at last.
As soon as we’d eaten a snack of apples and cheese sticks, JBIII and I sat down side by side on the floor of my bedroom. In the old days we would have settled in the family room, which is really the family room, living room, and dining room all in the same space. But recently the family room had become my father’s office and he was sitting there now, glaring at his computer screen.
“Now,” said JBIII in a businesslike voice, a pad of paper propped against his knees, “first things first.” In his neatest printing he wrote MY SUMMER VACATION–OUTLINE across the top of the first sheet of paper. He moved his pencil to the line below. “One,” he said aloud, and wrote a Roman numeral one.
Oh, yeah. You’re supposed to use Roman numerals on an outline. An interesting thing about Roman numerals is that JBIII has one in his name. III=3 in regular numbers.
I watched JBIII scratch busily away, making notes about his summer, and I tried to remember how Roman numerals go. Then I thought for a while about Rome, which made me remember an exhibit on Rome that had been at the Museum of Natural History on one of the worst days of my life. It was the end of third grade and our class had taken a field trip to the museum and suddenly I couldn’t find my classmates, only dinosaur skeletons, so I shouted, “Help! Police!” and got quite a few adults, including Mrs. DiNunzio (Jill’s mother) and our teacher, in trouble for losing me. After that, the other third graders would whisper “Help! Police!” in my ear whenever they wanted to annoy me, which was pretty often, since they already thought I was a big baby. The incident at the museum might not have been so bad if there hadn’t been two other incidents that year, one involving Show and Tell (which how was I supposed to know you don’t have Show and Tell anymore when you get to third grade in Emily Dickinson Elementary?) and one involving my tinkle. Yes, there was an accidental wetting of my pants, but I don’t want to go into the embarrassing details here. All you really need to know is that the whole year was embarrassing and that Jill and Rachel and Katie thought that every bad thing that happened to me was hilarious. Then we all turned up together in the same fourth-grade class, but by the end of that year JBIII and I had become friends, so I didn’t care so much about Jill-Rachel-Katie.
“Pearl?” said JBIII.
“Yeah?”
“Aren’t you going to start your outline?”
I looked at JBIII’s paper, which was all spotted with Roman numerals and notes to himself. Then I looked at mine, which was blank.
“I’m still collecting my thoughts,” I told him, and luckily at that moment, JBIII’s mother phoned because she wanted him to come home.
When he left, I sat down at the desk and opened my notebook. After a very long time I wrote MY SUMMER VACATION–OUTLINE across the top, and then I made a capital letter I on the next line, which is how you write a Roman numeral one.
I stared and stared at the I, and at last I turned to a clean page in my notebook. What would be much, much more fun than writing an outline would be making
questionnaires for my parents to fill out at dinnertime. I wrote Mom’s in pink ink and Dad’s in green:
This was Mom’s questionnaire. I made a similar one for my father.
Then I settled down to start my outline. Next to the Roman numeral II wrote: My dad got fired.
2
MY SUMMER VACATION—OUTLINE
I. My dad got fired. (Sorry, Ms. Brody, but he didn’t get fried fired over the summer, even though you asked about what happened on our vacations. He got fired before the summer. But almost everything that I’m going to write about wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t gotten fired in the first place so it’s kind of important to include that here.)
A. My family was shocked.
If you’re telling a story, the best way to surprise the people who are reading it is to start off by saying how nice and sweet everything was, or what a lovely day it was, and then say that something horrible happened. Like, It was a very beautiful day with sunshine when suddenly the whole town caught fire, and also my cat died. That’s much more alarming than saying It was a dreary, gloomy day with a hint of mystery in the air when suddenly the whole town caught fire, and also my cat died. Because the town catching fire and the dead cat kind of go along with dreariness and gloom. But with sunshine and a blue sky you’re expecting something nice, like robins.
Anyway, before my father got fired, my family was happy and normal and good, like a sunshiny day. I’m talking about last spring now, since that’s where the story starts—during the happy-normal-good time at the end of fourth grade. My family had had an exciting winter. My grandfather, Daddy Bo, had come to live with us for a few months while we looked for an old people’s home for him to move to. By the way, every time I say “old people’s home” Lexie rolls her eyes and corrects me. She says, “It’s called a continuing care retirement community, Pearl” in this 14-year-old voice of hers. Whatever. The place we found is right here in New York City, so Daddy Bo is closer than ever. Plus, he really likes his apartment at The Towers.
My favorite part about when Daddy Bo was living with us was that I got to share Lexie’s room since Daddy Bo was staying in mine. Unfortunately, I have to point out that Lexie wasn’t too thrilled with the arrangement. She likes her privacy, and she was used to doing all sorts of interesting teenage things—phoning her many, many best friends; applying makeup, etc., etc., etc.—behind her closed door. Now I had crept into her personal space. I found it fascinating, but Lexie was relieved to have her room back after Daddy Bo moved to The Towers.

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Kristy and the Snobs
Best Kept Secret
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The Fire at Mary Anne's House
Science Fair
Me and Katie (The Pest)
Karen's Plane Trip
Jessi's Wish
Dawn and Too Many Sitters
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Karen's Goldfish
Snow War
Abby and the Secret Society
Keeping Secrets
Good-Bye Stacey, Good-Bye
Karen's Sleepover
Claudia and the World's Cutest Baby
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Mallory and the Dream Horse
Kristy and the Mystery Train
Dawn's Family Feud
Karen's Twin
Little Miss Stoneybrook... And Dawn
Karen's Mistake
Karen's Movie Star
Mallory and the Mystery Diary
Karen's Monsters
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Karen's Dinosaur
Here Today
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How to Look for a Lost Dog
Stacey vs. Claudia
Stacey's Ex-Boyfriend
Here Come the Bridesmaids!
Graduation Day
Kristy's Big News
Karen's School Surprise
Kristy Thomas, Dog Trainer
Baby-Sitters' Christmas Chiller
Baby-Sitters' Winter Vacation
Ten Good and Bad Things About My Life
Claudia and the Bad Joke
Mary Anne's Makeover
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Dawn Schafer, Undercover Baby-Sitter
Karen's Tuba
Dawn's Wicked Stepsister
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Jessi and the Awful Secret
Karen's New Year
Karen's Candy
Karen's President
Mary Anne and the Great Romance
Mary Anne + 2 Many Babies
Kristy and the Copycat
Jessi and the Bad Baby-Sitter
Claudia, Queen of the Seventh Grade
Claudia and the Lighthouse Ghost
Karen's New Puppy
Karen's Home Run
Karen's Chain Letter
Kristy in Charge
Karen's Angel
Mary Anne and Too Many Boys
Karen's Big Fight
Karen's Spy Mystery
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Karen's School
Claudia and the Terrible Truth
Karen's Cowboy
The Summer Before
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Belle Teale
Claudia's Big Party
The Secret Life of Mary Anne Spier
Karen's Book
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Kristy and the Cat Burglar
Karen's Pumpkin Patch
Stacey and the Mystery at the Empty House
Karen's Chicken Pox
Mary Anne and the Playground Fight
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Karen's School Bus
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Rain Reign
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Karen's Doll
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Ten Rules for Living With My Sister
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Baby-Sitters' Island Adventure
Karen's Fishing Trip
Dawn and the Big Sleepover
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Ten Kids, No Pets
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Halloween Parade
Karen's New Holiday
Kristy Power!
Karen's Wish
Claudia and the Mystery in the Painting
Karen's Stepmother
Abby in Wonderland
Karen's Snow Day
Kristy and the Secret of Susan
Karen's Pony Camp
Karen's School Trip
Mary Anne to the Rescue
Karen's Unicorn
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Stacey and the Haunted Masquerade
Claudia Gets Her Guy
Missing Since Monday
Stacey's Choice
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Karen's New Teacher
Karen's Accident
Karen's Lucky Penny
Karen's Cartwheel
Karen's Puppet Show
Spelling Bee
Stacey's Problem
Stacey and the Stolen Hearts
Karen's Surprise
Karen's Worst Day
The Ghost at Dawn's House
Karen's Big Sister
Karen's Easter Parade
Mary Anne and the Silent Witness
Karen's Swim Meet
Mary Anne's Revenge
Karen's Mystery
Stacey and the Mystery Money
Dawn and the Disappearing Dogs
Karen's Christmas Tree
Welcome to Camden Falls
Karen's Pilgrim
Dawn and the Halloween Mystery
Mary Anne in the Middle
Karen's Toys
Kristy's Great Idea
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Karen's Big Weekend
Logan's Story
Karen's Yo-Yo
Kristy's Book
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Dawn on the Coast
Stacey and the Cheerleaders
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Karen's Grandmothers
Slam Book
Karen's School Picture
Karen's Reindeer
Kristy's Big Day
The Long Way Home
Karen's Sleigh Ride
On Christmas Eve
Karen's Copycat
Karen's Ice Skates
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Abby's Book
Karen's Big Top
Main Street #8: Special Delivery
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Karen's Ski Trip
Karen's Hurricane
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Jessi and the Superbrat
Kristy and the Baby Parade
Karen's New Bike
Karen's Big City Mystery
Baby-Sitters' European Vacation
Hello, Mallory
Dawn's Big Date
Karen's Christmas Carol
Jessi's Horrible Prank
Kristy and the Missing Fortune
Kristy and the Haunted Mansion
Jessi's Big Break
Karen's Pony
Welcome Home, Mary Anne
Stacey the Math Whiz
September Surprises
Bummer Summer
Karen's Secret
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Main Street #4: Best Friends
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Holiday Time
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Dawn and Whitney, Friends Forever
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Claudia's Book
Main Street #2: Needle and Thread
Karen's Runaway Turkey
Karen's Campout
Karen's Bunny
Claudia and the New Girl
Karen's Wedding
Karen's Promise
Karen's Snow Princess
Claudia Kishi, Middle School Dropout
Starring the Baby-Sitters Club!
Kristy for President
California Girls!
Maid Mary Anne
Abby's Un-Valentine
Stacey's Secret Friend
Karen's Haunted House
Claudia and Crazy Peaches
Karen's Prize
Get Well Soon, Mallory!
Karen's Doll Hospital
Karen's Newspaper
Karen's Toothache
Mary Anne and Miss Priss
Abby's Lucky Thirteen
The Secret Book Club
The All-New Mallory Pike
Karen's Turkey Day
Karen's Magician
Mary Anne and the Library Mystery
Diary One: Dawn, Sunny, Maggie, Amalia, and Ducky
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Kristy and the Mother's Day Surprise
Karen's in Love
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Karen's Kittycat Club
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Karen's Gift
BSC in the USA
Everything for a Dog
Dawn and the We Love Kids Club
Karen's Ghost
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Jessi's Secret Language
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Better to Wish
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Karen's Show and Share
Mallory Hates Boys (and Gym)
Diary Two: Dawn, Sunny, Maggie, Amalia, and Ducky
Karen's Pen Pal
Claudia and the Friendship Feud
Karen's Secret Valentine
Keep Out, Claudia!
Aloha, Baby-Sitters!
Welcome Back, Stacey
Jessi Ramsey, Pet-Sitter
Karen's Pizza Party
Kristy and the Dirty Diapers
Staying Together
Dawn and the Surfer Ghost
Claudia Makes Up Her Mind
Jessi's Gold Medal
Karen's Kite
Baby Animal Zoo
Dawn's Big Move
Karen's Big Joke
Karen's Lemonade Stand
Ma and Pa Dracula
Baby-Sitters' Haunted House
Abby and the Mystery Baby
Home Is the Place
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Twin Trouble
Ten Good and Bad Things About My Life (So Far)
Diary Two
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Claudia and the Mystery Painting
Diary One
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Dawn Schaffer Undercover Baby-Sitter
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Karen's Bunny Trouble
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Diary Three
Christmas Chiller
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Needle and Thread
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Claudia Kishi, Middle School Drop-Out
Logan Likes Mary Anne !
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Best Friends
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Karen's Little Witch
Jessi Ramsey, Petsitter
Baby-Sitters Club 123
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Mystery At Claudia's House
Claudia And The Sad Goodbye
Mary Anne's Big Break-Up
Baby-Sitters Club 025
Baby-Sitters Club 042
Stacey and the Mystery of the Empty House
Karen's Baby-Sitter
Claudia's Friendship Feud
Baby-Sitters Club 090
Baby-Sitters Club 021
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The Baby-Sitters Club #108: Don't Give Up, Mallory (Baby-Sitters Club, The)
Dawn and the Impossible Three
The Snow War
Special Delivery
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Mary Anne And Too Many Babies
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