Karen's Newspaper Read online

  “Maybe we could make it sound interesting,” I said. “We could write headlines in capital letters with lots of exclamation points. Like this: ‘DAVID MICHAEL ORDERS AFTER-SHAVE!!!!’ ”

  “At least we will not get in trouble,” said Nancy.

  “Right,” I agreed. “Okay, it is time for all reporters to take a break. Tomorrow we will be writers again. Get ready to use the computer.”

  Across and Down

  Saturday was the beginning of a little-house weekend. But guess where I went first thing that morning. To the big house.

  Mommy dropped Nancy and me off at Daddy’s on her way downtown to run errands. “Mrs. Dawes will pick you up at four o’clock this afternoon,” she reminded us. Then she drove away.

  “Let’s get Hannie,” I said. “We have a lot to do today.”

  The Three Musketeers were very busy at the computer. First we wrote up the news stories we had collected.

  “Let’s print out one copy and see how the paper looks,” suggested Nancy.

  So we did. This time our paper was only two pages long.

  I studied it. “It needs something,” I said.

  “Pictures?” said Hannie.

  “Pictures might help,” I agreed.

  We called for Sam. He showed us how the computer could illustrate our stories. We added a drawing of a trophy next to the article about Maria Kilbourne, and a drawing of a puppy next to the article about Timmy Hsu. (We did not know what to do about David Michael’s article.)

  After that we printed out another copy of the paper.

  “Better,” I said. Then I remembered something. “The crossword puzzle!” I cried. “The awful crossword puzzle.”

  “What?” said Hannie and Nancy.

  “Our paper needs a puzzle. Other papers have them,” I said. “But we need a fun puzzle for kids. Come on. Let’s make one.”

  “Make one?” repeated Hannie. “We can’t do that.”

  “I bet we can,” said Nancy. “Let’s try.”

  We found some graph paper. We began writing words in the squares. Across and down. All of our words were about summertime.

  “Let’s put in ‘vacation,’ ” said Hannie. “And ‘swimming.’”

  “How about ‘picnic’?” suggested Nancy.

  Fitting those across words with those down words was hard. Then we had to write clues for them. Then Sam had to show us how to put the puzzle on the computer so we could print it out.

  “Couldn’t you guys do something easy?” he said. “Like design a spaceship?”

  “This is important,” I replied. Then I remembered to add, “Thank you very much.”

  A little while later, the paperboys were delivering the second issue of The 3M Gazette.

  The Supermarket Papers

  On Sunday, Nancy and I went over to Hannie’s house. Mr. Dawes drove us. We wanted to find out what the kids in the big-house neighborhood thought about the new issue of The 3M Gazette. (Also, we wanted to know if we were in trouble for anything.)

  The Three Musketeers decided to poll the kids who were reading our paper. First we talked to Linny Papadakis.

  “What did you think of your new copy of The 3M Gazette?” I asked him. (I was ready with paper and a pencil, in case I needed to write down anything he said.) “What is your honest opinion?” I added.

  “Well,” said Linny slowly, “it was … it was … I liked the puzzle.”

  “Hmm. And what about the articles?” I asked.

  “They were okay.”

  Next we went across the street to Daddy’s house. We asked David Michael the same questions.

  “My honest opinion?” he said. “Well, it was, um, a little boring. But I liked the puzzle. That was fun.”

  Guess what. Timmy Hsu said the same thing. So did Melody Korman. Well, bullfrogs. We could not please anyone. First the paper caused trouble. Now it was boring.

  “But you could make it interesting,” said Melody. “That would be easy.”

  “You mean use more exclamation points?” asked Hannie.

  Melody shook her head. “No. Make it like the papers at the checkout counter in the supermarket. They are really interesting.”

  I turned to Hannie and Nancy. “If that is true then we have to get to the grocery store. Right now! It is an emergency. Come on. I think Nannie is going there today.”

  We ran back to the big house. Sure enough, Nannie was holding a shopping list. She was just about to climb into her car, the Pink Clinker.

  “Please can we ride with you?” I asked.

  “If you tell your parents where you are going,” Nannie replied.

  Twenty minutes later, the Three Musketeers were crowded around a rack of newspapers in the supermarket. (Nannie was walking up and down the aisles with a shopping cart.)

  Nancy opened a paper called The National Star. “Here is an article about a little boy who has x-ray vision. His eyes are red, and he can see through walls.” She turned a page. “And here is a story about a man who is a real vampire. Ew, look!” she shrieked. “There’s his picture! Look at his fangs!”

  Hannie opened another paper. It was called The Weekly Tattletale. She read us some headlines. They were “Formerly Bald Man Grows Moss on Forehead” and “Ancient Statue Cries Real Tears” and “Woman Gives Birth to Alien — Baby Has Green Skin.”

  Then I looked at a paper called Eye on the World. The very first story in it was about a man who said his cat had been kidnapped by Martians.

  “I wonder if he knows the woman with the alien baby,” said Hannie.

  My friends giggled.

  “Is there a picture of the Martians taking the kitty?” asked Nancy.

  “No,” I replied. “But here is a picture of a grandmother who arm wrestled with a bank robber.”

  “Ready to go, girls?” asked Nannie. She was standing behind us. Her shopping cart was full.

  “I guess so,” I replied. “Hannie? Nancy? How much money do you have? I think we should buy some of these papers.”

  We emptied our pockets. We had just enough money to buy The National Star and Eye on the World. I knew they would be helpful.

  Psychic Mom Saves Son from Bigfoot

  Hannie and Nancy and I returned to Hannie’s house. We went to her bedroom. We opened our newspapers. We studied the stories.

  We read about two people who said the fillings in their teeth could pick up radio stations. They heard music in their mouths. We read about lots of aliens. We read about people who set weird records. We read about a baby who weighed twenty-eight pounds when she was born.

  Finally Hannie said, “I wonder if these stories are true. I remember when my mom had Sari. Sari weighed six pounds. I do not think a brand-new baby could weigh twenty-eight pounds.”

  “And I do not think Martians would travel all the way to Earth just to kidnap a cat,” said Nancy. “Don’t you think they would want something bigger?”

  “The articles must be made up,” I said. “They have to be.”

  “But newspaper stories are supposed to be true,” said Hannie.

  “Maybe not,” said Nancy. “Maybe we were wrong about that.”

  “Well, we can make up stories as well as anyone else can,” I said. “Boy. Melody was right. We can make The 3M Gazette much more interesting.”

  During the next week, the Three Musketeers worked hard. We wrote lots of interesting articles for our paper. They were all made up.

  Nancy thought up the best headline. It was PSYCHIC MOM SAVES SON FROM BIG-FOOT!!! (We had noticed a lot of articles about Bigfoot in those papers.) To go with it, we made up a story about a mother who could see the future. She used a Ouija board to receive messages from the Beyond. One of the messages was about her little boy, Billy, and how Bigfoot was going to attack him on Halloween, so she decided not to let him go trick-or-treating. That way, Bigfoot could not get to him. She had saved her dear son’s life.

  Another good headline was FIFTY-NINE-POUND GOLDFISH STUCK IN OWN TANK! Hannie made up a story ab
out how a pet goldfish had kept on growing and growing, but his owner did not notice. Finally the fish weighed fifty-nine pounds. It was so big it filled up its whole tank. The owner had to break the tank to get the fish out.

  Then I wrote a story about a man with magical powers who could make clocks run backward. I called it MAGIC MAN SAVES TIME!!

  On Wednesday, the Three Musketeers were sitting in Hannie’s backyard. We were making up a story about a little girl who never cut her fingernails and now they were three feet long.

  “Hey! You guys!” called Linny. He was running across the lawn. “I have a story for your paper. Want to hear it?”

  “Well … ” I said. My friends and I had not thought about collecting boring real stories. We were just going to invent interesting fake ones.

  “What is the story?” asked Nancy.

  “I just found out that my best friend and I are going to be in the same class in school this year. We were hoping that would happen. I know everyone is going to want to read that story.”

  A little while later, Maria Kilbourne came over. “I won another trophy,” she announced. “Next week I will be in the final swim meet.”

  Then Timmy Hsu walked his new puppy over. The puppy’s name was Ghost. Timmy was very proud of her.

  Hannie and Nancy and I made some notes about Linny and his best friend, and Maria and her trophy, and Timmy and Ghost. We wrote short articles about them. But the biggest headline on the third issue of The 3M Gazette was the one about the psychic mom. The rest of the articles were the made-up ones.

  On Saturday, when the papers were finished, we gave them to our delivery boys. We could not wait to find out what everyone thought of our very interesting newspaper.

  The Funny Papers

  The weekend our interesting paper was delivered, Andrew and I were staying at the big house. After supper we sat in the living room. All of us. My entire big-house family.

  “Did everybody see the new issue of The 3M Gazette?” I asked.

  “Not me,” said Sam.

  “Not yet,” said Nannie.

  I had two extra copies of the paper. I passed them around. I smiled. I knew no one would be bored. Right away, they would see that great big headline: PSYCHIC MOM SAVES SON FROM BIGFOOT!!! They would start reading, and they would not be able to stop.

  Nannie took one copy of the paper. She read it while Kristy and Andrew and Daddy looked over her shoulders. Charlie and Elizabeth looked over Sam’s shoulders. At first the living room was silent.

  Then I heard a snicker. It had come from Charlie. “Psychic mom?” he murmured. He was smiling.

  So were Kristy and Elizabeth and Daddy.

  Charlie’s face was turning red. He covered his mouth with his hand. Finally he laughed out loud.

  “Charlie,” said Elizabeth.

  “Sorry. I can’t help it,” replied Charlie. He was laughing so hard tears were running down his cheeks.

  Andrew nudged me. “Karen, why is Charlie crying?”

  “Never mind,” I replied.

  Charlie could not stop laughing. He put the paper down. Then he said, “Bigfoot. A fifty-nine-pound goldfish. Clocks running backward. This is better than the funny papers.”

  I looked around the room. Charlie was the only one laughing, but almost everyone else was hiding smiles. Only Andrew, Emily, and David Michael were not.

  I stood up. “Well, I’m glad you think the paper is so funny,” I said. I knew darn well that “funny papers” meant “comics.” I was insulted. The Three Musketeers had worked very hard for a week. We had not done all that work just so everyone would laugh at our paper.

  Kristy tried to stop smiling. “But Karen,” she said, “what kind of a paper is this? You just made up these stories.”

  “Well, isn’t that what the people who wrote The National Star and Eye on the World did? We made The 3M Gazette just like those papers.”

  “I don’t know,” replied Daddy. “Maybe they did make up the stories, maybe they didn’t. But the point is that you did, Karen. You made up every word of most of these articles. That is not reporting, honey.”

  “Hannie said newspaper articles are supposed to be true,” I told my family. “I guess she was right after all.”

  Andrew was still peering at the paper. “Karen, some of the stories are true. The story about Linny is. So are the ones about Timmy and Maria.”

  Sometimes I forget that Andrew can read. Most four-year-olds cannot read. But Andrew can. I thought of something. “Hey, Andrew,” I said. “I bet you will be the only kid in your class at your new school who can read. Your teacher will like that.”

  Andrew stuck out his lower lip. “I am not going to that new school,” he said.

  I shrugged. I looked at The 3M Gazette again. My friends and I had worked hard and our paper still was not right. Well, I was not going to give up. We would just have to work even harder. I decided to go to bed early since I had so much to do.

  Getting It Right

  “My father laughed when he read about Bigfoot,” said Hannie. “My mother kept poking him, and saying, ‘George, George.’ But he would not stop laughing.” Hannie looked very huffy.

  “My mother and father did not laugh,” reported Nancy. “But I think they wanted to. And my mother said, ‘Maybe fiction is stranger than truth after all.’ I am not sure what she meant by that.”

  It was Sunday afternoon. Hannie and Nancy and I were in Hannie’s backyard. I had just told my friends what had happened at the big house the night before. They were not in good moods.

  But I was. “I thought about The 3M Gazette all night, and I have lots of new ideas,” I announced. “I know just how to fix our paper.”

  “How?” asked Nancy. “We have tried telling the truth and we have tried making up stories. What’s left?”

  “Plenty,” I replied. “I can think of lots of ways to make the paper more interesting. We just have to … to spice it up. The puzzle was a good way to start. Everyone likes the puzzle. I mean, all the kids do. The pictures were good, too. So what we have to do is keep telling the truth — ”

  “And only write about what we have permission to write about,” added Hannie. “So we will not get in trouble again.”

  “Right,” I agreed. “And add some fun things.”

  “More puzzles and pictures?” said Hannie.

  “Yes, and other things, too. We could start a column called ‘Letters from Readers.’ Kids can write to us when they have something to say about the paper, and we will print their letters.”

  “Cool,” said Nancy. “Hey, I have an idea. Every week we could let someone be a guest reporter. You know, like Timmy or Maria could write an article for the paper.”

  “We could have contests,” suggested Hannie. “Draw the best picture or write the best story or tell the funniest joke.”

  “That’s a good idea,” said Nancy. “That way, kids will keep reading the paper to find out if they have won a contest.”

  “Maybe we could announce something big,” I said slowly. “A super contest or something. And we will say a little bit about it each week. That would keep people reading.”

  “A super contest?” repeated Nancy.

  “You know, like … like Games Day at school. Only it would be for all the kids in the neighborhood. They could play games and run in races and be in contests. And we will give out blue ribbons.”

  “And afterward we can write about Games Day and the winners in The 3M Gazette!” exclaimed Hannie.

  “Oh, that is brilliant,” said Nancy.

  * * *

  The Three Musketeers worked extra hard on the next issue of The 3M Gazette. We spent two weeks on it. We collected new stories from the kids in the neighborhood. We wrote them up honestly. We made pictures to go with them. We drew up a word search puzzle. We asked everyone for their thoughts about going back to school, and we wrote about them in a story called “Kid-speak.” We announced a joke-telling contest. And then, in a little box at the end of the last page, w
e wrote: Stay tuned for news about Games Day! (That is all we said about it.) When we finally finished The 3M Gazette, our paperboys delivered it.

  Nancy and Hannie and I were gigundoly tired.

  Games Day

  The fourth issue of The 3M Gazette was a hit. Everyone liked it — kids, grown-ups, even Mr. and Mrs. Billing and Mr. Papadakis. Even Charlie. My friends and I were not in trouble, and no one thought our paper was too boring or too funny. Finally.

  The fifth and sixth issues were hits, too. The kids in the neighborhood especially liked the things they could be a part of. They liked being asked questions for Kidspeak. They liked writing letters to the paper. Best of all, they liked the contests.

  Also, they were looking forward to Games Day. In a box at the end of the fifth issue of the paper, we wrote: Games Day is two weeks from Saturday. Meet in Karen’s backyard at 1:00. In the sixth issue, we printed an article about Games Day. We said that any kid who wanted to have some fun should come to my house at one o’clock. He (or she) should wear sneakers and old clothes. There would be races and games and contests. The winners would get blue ribbons. And Hannie and Nancy and I would write about the afternoon and the kids and the winners in our paper. We were going to make a special issue that was just about Games Day.

  I had to ask Kristy to help us with Games Day. “Lots of kids are going to come,” I told her. “My friends and I are supposed to be reporters that day. We are supposed to write about everything that happens. We want to interview the winners, too. We need to be able to say things like, ‘So, David Michael. You have just won the fifty-yard dash. How do you feel?’ We are going to be awfully busy, Kristy.”

  “Don’t worry,” Kristy replied. “I will help you on Games Day.”

  And she did. So did her friends Mary Anne and Bart.

  Guess how many kids showed up for Games Day. Fourteen. That was a lot. It was more than I had expected. Luckily, Kristy took charge. (She is good at that.)

  “Okay!” she cried. “Everyone who wants to be in the jumping jacks contest, go with Bart. The relay race will be held after that.”